Painful Recall of Memory
by Mel's Merleawe
Summary: Thinking about the past and looking ahead to the future, the solitude of oneself.


_**Painful Recall of Memory**_

Summary: Thinking about the past and looking ahead to the future, the solitude of oneself.

Artist: Owl City

Title: Vanilla Twilight

_The stars lean down to kiss you,_

_And I lie awake I miss you,_

_Pour me a heavy dose of atmosphere_

Night was approaching once more. The heavy blanket of darkness slowly permeated throughout the room. A lone figure was lying on the bed. His arms under his head as the young man's eyes gazed at the ceiling blankly.

'_Cause I'll doze off safe and soundly,_

_But I'll miss your arms around me. _

_I'll send a postcard to you dear, _

'_Cause I wish you were here. _

His thoughts manifested itself during this hour. He would remember Japan along with everyone he cherished. The memories that he suppressed in the daytime released itself at night.

_I watch the night turn light blue, _

_But it's not the same without you,_

_Because it takes two to whisper quietly_

It would dredge up memories from the back of his mind. On one particular evening, Oishi-senpai had led all the regulars to a bizarre activity. He decided to take all of us to see the sunrise. We eventually agreed to this escapade.

_The silence isn't so bad, _

_Till I look at my hands and feel sad,_

'_Cause the spaces between my fingers_

_Are right where yours fit perfectly._

You would think with Momo-senpai and Kaidoh-senpai that the outing would be a boisterous expedition. But that theory would be proved wrong. The group was silent. Everyone was at ease. And when we reached the top to see the sunrise, it became a sweet memory.

Recalling it now made him feel bittersweet. He hadn't seen the regulars for years. The loneliness crept up on him time and again. He was alone.

_I'll find repose in new ways, _

_Though I haven't slept in two days,_

'_Cause cold nostalgia chills me to the bone_

He hated feeling this longing. Sometimes he would be too tired to care and fell asleep not thinking at all. There were times when he pounded the tennis ball against the wall. It restrained the emotions he locked up. It made him concentrate only on tennis.

_But drenched in vanilla twilight,_

_I'll sit on my front porch all night,_

_Waist deep in thought because when I think of you_

_I don't feel so alone…_

_I don't feel so alone,_

_I don't feel so alone. _

But there were nights where he would just reminisce to ease the lonely feeling in his heart. Why was he winning all these tournaments? _**What was his goal?**_

_As many times as I blink I'll think of you… tonight_

_I'll think of you tonight._

He had played tennis at first to beat his perverted father. And because of Tezuka-buchou, he discovered that there were many other strong tennis players. He resolved to beat all of them. Years later, he achieved his goals. He won against his father and was the number one tennis player worldwide. He fought against the strongest and now… he had no one to challenge against. He had no one to say "Welcome home" when he came home or cook him food or congratulate him on his win. He had no close friends to meet up and see how they were.

_When violet eyes get brighter,_

_And heavy wings grow lighter,_

_I'll taste the sky and feel alive again,_

He realized that he had nothing to look forward to. Because of this, he made his resolution. He would go back to Japan and visit everyone. And maybe, just maybe this feeling of loneliness would fade away.

_And I'll forget the world that I knew,_

_But I swear I won't forget you, _

_Oh, if my voice could reach back through the past,_

_I'd whisper in your ear,_

_Oh, darling I wish you were here._

Disclaimer: I do not own Prince of Tennis. Nor do I own this song.

A/N: I tried not making it so sad but it seems I failed halfway. Sigh. Still, I think the end result seemed pretty well.

**I love suggestions on how to improve, what you liked or hated about the story and your thoughts about the whole thing in general. Please review and give your thoughts on what you think about it. **

3/30/10: Edit.

4/28/10: Final Edit.

_Mel's Merleawe_


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